Free Geekery

Jack Bauer, the famous anti-terrorist agent in the long-running Fox television show 24, probably gets all his gear and gadgets for free from various agencies. Face it, have you ever seen him cash a paycheck? In that vein, this list of ten gadgets that Jack Bauer can’t live without offers you a chance to emulate Jack for the lowest possible prices.

Of course, some of you feel that you only get what you pay for and you’re willing to pay a bit more for quality merchandise. In that case, we offer some alternative sources. And, some items just can’t be replicated, like Jack’s Special Ops watch or his weapons. After all, you need the best gadgets in some cases to help Jack stop all those threats to national security.

1. Jack Sack

The “Jack Sack,” or “The World’s Deadliest Manpurse,” tops the list as Jack couldn’t live without a bag to hold all his gadgets during Season Five. In fact, this item is so hot that you can find a Web site devoted to this accessory. The bag is advertised on this site and is available through Amazon.com from Galaxy Army Navy. Listed as the unisex “Heavyweight Classic Messenger Bag” for a mere $18.95, the bag contains an enormous main compartment, inside zipper pouch, and three outside pockets. This 15″ x 11″ x 6″ vintage military bag can carry everything from your water bottle to a small weapon. Oh - don’t forget to pack your laptop so you can make notes about your next mission or your American Express so you can build points on those missions.

2. Special Ops Watch

If you want a Jack Bauer watch you’re in luck, as this Black Hawk Ballistic Band - which was previously available only to U.S. special forces worldwide - is now yours for only $450. This is an awesome price considering that each timepiece is an individually numbered limited production. The entire watch case and band are fabricated from solid stainless steel and the locking case back and screw down crown can resist water up to 330 feet. Outside all the special features, the watch contains two separate dial modes that allow the watch to be seen and read under adverse conditions. Plus, you have the ability to transmit distress signals that can be seen up to a mile away in the dark.

3. Motorola i880

Jack lost his Treo 650 smartphone. Since he can’t live without communications a la mobile phone, he confiscated a Sprint-Nextel Motorola i880 just as that phone hit the market this past fall. Motorola i880 users now have access to a 2.0-megapixel camera/camcorder and music with external controls, stereo speakers, and a microSD memory card slot for MP3 storage. More importantly, the Motorola i880 is compatible with WiDEN (Wideband Integrated Dispatch Enhanced Network) for high-speed data transfer, and features speakerphone functionality and an auto-opening hinge mechanism. But can you intercept text messages? Not likely, at least not legally, unless you’re willing and able to dive into a Cellular Monitoring GSM Intercept model GSM 2060TP for about a cool million.

You can do the Motorola i880 for $299.99, currently including $150 instant savings, a $50 rebate, and a two-year service agreement. Of course you’ll need some 24 Ringtones to go with that phone.

4. Second Chance APEX Carrier

Buy yourself a second chance with this APEX Carrier (vest) that features POWERNet straps for assured breathability and thermodynamic fabric that keeps the wearer cool in summer and warm in winter. For a mere $74.90, you can benefit from antistatic and antimicrobial benefits provided by X-static, the Silver Fiber torso lining. The hook and loop ballistic panel attachment holds the ballistic panels in place for better fit and comfort. This is a small price to pay to look like Bauer when he’s all dressed up, especially if you don’t need the bulletproof armor ($459).

If you don’t want to go all out for the body armor, you can wait until August when two Jack Bauer action figures will hit the toy shelves. The initial Bauer figure wears a bulletproof vest, leather pants, and boots, and he has his gun raised and aimed at danger. The fall debut and price (between $10 and $12) makes this toy a prime holiday gift for yourself or for your significant other.

5. Ray Ban Aviators

Jack rarely wears sunglasses, as his audience needs to view his tortured eyes. But, if your eyes are too happy, you can cover them with Ray Ban Polarized Large Metal I Aviator Sunglasses RB3025 from Amazon.com. The price ranges from $130 - $140, but it’s a small price to pay for such high-end gear. If you’re going to spend the cash for these glasses, go all out for the polarized version for $150. You can find less expensive aviators if your budget is slim (or try the local dollar store), but they may not provide the same amount of UV protection, let alone Jack Bauer’s “priceless” appeal. Use a cash-back card and pay your bill monthly and you’ll cut your costs even more.

6. Monocular Scope

Stash this Brunton 7X18 Echo Pocket Scope Monocular ECHO7018 in your Jack sack for times when you need to use a spy’s most valuable tool. At only 3.3-inches long and 1.8 oz., the Echo magnifies your view seven times. For only $21.32, you also receive a lanyard and a case with the scope, but you can simply hide this gadget in your hand just like Jack does.

7. SureFire Z2 Combatlight

This is another spy tool that can hide in the palm of your hand. The Z2 high-intensity incandescent flashlight is designed for tactical and duty use or for conditions that require an enhanced grip. This flashlight is standard issue for the FBI, US Air Marshals, and for “thousands of police departments worldwide,” as it provides a smooth tactical-level beam with four times the light of a large two D-cell flashlight. You could blind someone with this gadget!

Since this flashlight weighs about three ounces more than the monocular scope, you won’t mistake one spy tool for the other. The Combatlight also costs a bit more at $93. If you really want to impair someone’s eyesight, you can invest $25 more in the P61 Lamp/Reflector. This accessory provides a scorching 120 lumens of white light with a 20-minute runtime.

8. Jack Bauer Handcuffs

We were overjoyed with the price on these “Jack Bauer” handcuffs, since this tool is a necessity for any red-blooded spy. For a piddling $9.99 you can lock up anyone and even leave an extra set of keys with that person if you feel benevolent. For three dollars more, you can get the handcuff set along with a universal handcuff key that fits most double-lock handcuffs and many other types of locks as well.

9. Front Zipped Hooded Fleece

Jack was especially stylish during Season Five. He wore a RIGGS hooded fleece sweatshirt by Wrangler, a piece of clothing that’s difficult to find at Amazon.com (currently unavailable), but that can be found at Zemsky Stores for $27.99 ($32.99 for tall sizes). As an added plus, this sweatshirt doesn’t sport a “24″ or “CTU” logo, so you can wear it during covert operations without being labeled.

10. Other Stuff, like Weapons

Jack simply cannot live without his weapons, such as the Microtech Halo III Blk PS MT105-2 combo-edge knife ($375) and the HK USP Compact 9mm ($739). You can always find less expensive weapons, like Hand Carved Rattan Nunchucks ($14.95), but then you wouldn’t be Jack Bauer.

You also need protection against the Cordilla virus. The Motorolla i880 comes shipped with AgION’s antimicrobial coating,which inhibits the growth of various microorganisms such as mold and mildew. While this might not stop the Cordilla virus, it can eliminate the risk of your handset smelling like your mouth. And, you can drop a pack of these Pure Touch Anti-Bacterial Hand Sanitizer Gel Packets ($6.99) into your Jack sack to kill any germs you might encounter on suspect door handles.

The choices above might not meet your stringent standards for Jack Bauer gear. In your case, you might shop directly from LA Police Gear or from New York First. While the prices are a little heftier at these two sites, you can get some great deals. For instance, we may never know what Bauer wears on his feet - but you can find 511 Tactical Socks for only $9.99 per pair at the LA Police Gear site. We may also never know if Jack uses a credit card. But, if he did, he would use one with a 0%
APR. Why pay interest when you’re racking up costs for stuff like bullet-proof armor?

Finally, the New York First site actually has a great deal for their U.S. Air Force Pilot Sunglasses at $24.95. No matter your budget, Jack Bauer clothing is easy to find, especially if you belong to the official 24 Fan Club (where you can find a Jack sack with a CTU seal). Or, simply run a search for “24″ or “Jack Bauer” clothing/weapons/gadgets/gear, and you’ll find a plethora of choices to make your style match that of the world’s most famous anti-terrorist agent

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