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One blogger discovered recently that a family member’s funeral cost a little over $12,000 for a modest ceremony. One way to avoid costly burials is to plan ahead while you’re still alive so that you can save your family money. In almost every state in the U.S., you can bypass the undertaker depending upon the circumstances surrounding a death. Since funeral homes and traditional burials represent the most costly way to leave this life, why don’t you take charge now to plan a final memorial that’s both smart and frugal?

In the past, entire families were involved with the funeral process, which allowed family members to express grief as they participated in various activities. The trend is to return to that family-oriented aspect and move away from undertakers who take control of everything from casket choices to catering. You take control when you plan your funeral and this activity allows you to plan a more personal and less commercial affair. But how do you go about planning a DIY funeral, and how much can you save?

Warning: If you’re not ready to read about how to plan your funeral, stop here. This article is not for the faint-of-heart.

1. Decide What You Want to Do

Do you want to donate your body to science? Or, would you rather honor religious leanings and strive for a natural burial without embalming? Perhaps you want a traditional funeral but you just don’t want to pay full price. If you don’t know how you want to conduct your funeral and the disposal of your body, you can search for options on the Internet and at your library. You can also consult the organization, Funeral Consumers Alliance. This nonprofit group maintains offices in numerous states, and it’s dedicated to providing information about funerals and dispositions at little to no cost.

You may discover that your choices boil down to one option - whether or not you want your friends and family to view your body after death. If you donate your body to science, for instance, you will be whisked away as soon as the proper papers are finalized - usually within hours. The only option in this case is for the family to hold a memorial service, as they won’t have the option for after-death visitation. If you don’t want to donate your body and you want a viewing, you can still hold one in most states even if you avoid the embalming process. But, you will need to pull everyone together quickly, as you must be cremated or buried usually within two days. Some states, however, will not allow a public or private viewing without embalming (more about embalming in #2).

Cremation isn’t a DIY option, as you must use a licensed crematory for this process. While laws regarding Viking funerals and funeral pyres are unknown, you can expect some problems if you decide to go that route in most western countries. Even though you must use a licensed oven for cremation, nationwide costs for this option can range from $300 to $3,000. These prices are much less than the costs of a traditional funeral, as you don’t need a casket [PDF] for the cremation process - although you may need a permit and your family may need to wait two days for the cremation to take place. The container you use - in most instances - can be as simple as a cardboard box, although some states may require a label that states what’s in that box.

2. Check Legalities

After you decide how you’d like to send your body off after you die, you’ll want to check local and regional ordinances about burials so you understand your options. You can learn more about state regulations through religious sites that advocate natural burials and through the Federal Trade Commission. You’ll learn that more states are leaning toward consumer choices except when certain circumstances prohibit those decisions.

For instance, although you may want to avoid embalming, if you die in a foreign country or if your body needs to be transported across long distances, you may be required to endure that process (not that you’ll feel it). Even if you die in England as a U.S. citizen, your funeral choices might be complicated by several legalities and time delays that will prevent you from avoiding the embalming option. Additionally, some airlines and other public carriers require bodies to be embalmed before transporting. However, your family members may have the choice of placing your body in a refrigerated room or container for transportation in certain instances.

Even if you don’t travel frequently, it’s good to provide options for unusual circumstances so that your loved ones will know how to fulfill your wishes. While you might envision a peaceful death at an old age, the chance that you’ll die a violent or accidental death is just as valid. In the latter instance, laws surrounding the cause of your death may require an autopsy or some other action that will run afoul of your best-laid plans.

Once again, refrigeration can save the day, especially if your body needs to be “kept on ice” for investigations or for other reasons beyond anyone’s control. Check commercial morgue prices vs. hospital morgue prices, as you might be able to make a choice about refrigeration choices before you die (note that most nursing homes do not carry refrigeration capabilities). Additionally, you might want to check about legalities surrounding contagious or lethal diseases. Even if you don’t expect to contract AIDS, you might contract some other disease that legally requires body handling by professionals.

3. Earth Burial, Scattered, or Entombed?

Your choices will include how you want your disposition conducted once your body is prepared for that final journey. If you want an earth burial and you’re lucky, a grandparent might have paid for a family plot years ago and you have dibs on one of those plots by family understanding. But, you may discover along the way that you have access to an available plot that was forgotten by family members. Don’t think you can use it without question, however. You’ll need to confer with cemetery or graveyard management to fulfill legal obligations before you can lay claim to that vacant space.

Even with this ‘traditional’ earth burial you can save money on various options. State laws do not require a vault or liner that keeps the ground from sinking in through the decomposition process and funeral providers may not tell you otherwise. However, many cemeteries might require some type of outer burial container in the future to prevent the grave from sinking. In that instance, you can choose a concrete grave liner rather than a full vault. Plus, it may be less expensive to purchase that grave liner from a third party rather than from a funeral home or cemetery.

The casket is another issue, as some caskets are claimed to be watertight, others don’t contain seals and now you have the option to purchase “green” caskets. If you want your body to be well-preserved, you’ll pay for it. The caskets that are designed to be watertight are much more expensive than any other option. Some green options are more expensive than others. This market is just gaining a foothold, and supply and demand issues might drive some companies to inflate their prices. Check with the Green Burial Council to learn more about your choices in this category.

If you decided on the cremation option and you want your ashes to be scattered, you might need to meet certain laws that prevent scattering ashes on some properties or in certain bodies of water. But, outside some restrictions, the sky’s the limit - literally. You can hire a pilot to scatter your ashes from a plane, be shot up in the air with fireworks, or - at the other extreme - be buried at sea. Realize that any commercial option will add serious cha-ching to your funeral’s bottom line.

You can also decide against scattering, as you can keep ashes in any container and bury it in your yard (check local ordinances first), or you can make your family carry you around forever. I knew a woman who kept her husband’s ashes in a large plastic Donald Duck container in her office, as she couldn’t (or didn’t want to) afford a commercial urn or a burial option.

Finally, you can choose entombment for your body or ashes. This choice, like that watertight casket, is probably the most expensive out of all possibilities. But, if you have a family tomb or you want to share a crematorium space with loved ones, then this is a choice best made with preplanning. Preplannning your funeral will allow you to find the least expensive option while you have time to compare prices. Plus, you can pay in advance for services that may double or triple in price by the time you die (see more about prepayment in #4).

4. Make Your Voice Heard Before and After Death

If you don’t make your wishes for a DIY funeral known to loved ones and to any appropriate authorities or commercial entities before and after you die, your body can end up in the hands of your local funeral director. While this move isn’t the worst option in many cases, the funeral home may try to pressure your family into choices that you never wanted. Specify your wishes in a living will, a will, or in some other pertinent legal document. A warning, however - if you make your wishes known in a will, those wishes may not be known until after several processes have already been conducted (like embalming). But, if you designate a power of attorney and/or an executor/executrix who knows your wishes and who can produce evidence to support those requests in a living will, your funeral might go according to plan.

You may not be old enough to take advantage of benefits provided by AARP (Association for the Advancement of Retired Persons), but you can learn much about funeral preplanning from their online materials. The pre-pay option, for instance, might not be a wise choice if you fear that your money might be wasted with a company that becomes involved in fraud, bankruptcy or mismanagement of funds before you die. You can set aside money specifically earmarked for your funeral, but you will - once again - need to let people know about this money and its purpose. AARP suggests Nolo as a resource for writing your wills and estate plans.

Another option is available for military members and veterans. While the Veterans Administration (VA) carries information about military funerals, you can also refer to the Department of Defense (DOD) and their Military Funeral Honors site. Veterans and active military personnel may find that their funerals can be inexpensive and quite formal, but these choices may meet your wishes. Some wives and children may also be buried with the deceased when they die, so be sure to check all your options before you write your plans for a military funeral in stone.

5. Be Prepared to Make Changes

Finally, you may not remain static during your lifetime. You may marry, have kids, move to another state or country, or divorce yourself from society altogether. In each instance you’ll need to review your plans, wills, and other financial matters as these life changes will alter your funeral plans. Laws may change as well (such as the demand from cemeteries for vaults), or you may find that your funeral no longer fits your personality or lifestyle. What seemed like a great idea a decade ago may now seem frivolous or even frightening ten years later.

These changes provide another good reason not to use prepaid funeral options in the preplanning process. If you made arrangements with a funeral home or through some other entity in one state and you become a resident of another state before you die, those plans may be difficult to carry out. In this case you may end up losing that money as your family finds it necessary to make other arrangements to dispose of your body. Plus, if you avoid prepay options you can also avoid using loans or credit cards to meet expenses that aren’t necessary just yet. Instead, think about a savings plan that gathers interest while you save for your final ceremony.

If you need to make changes to your plans, just follow the steps above again. You may discover that the process becomes easier each time you need to make changes. And, you may discover that your funeral, after all, isn’t for you. It’s really all about the ones you leave behind. If you love those folks then take it easy on them because loss, compounded by unexpected expenses, is a lousy legacy to leave behind for a frugal geek. But, if you want to be a pain in the rear even after you’ve left this world, you can continue that legacy even after you’re gone. It’s up to you - that’s the whole point behind a DIY funeral.

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