Free Geekery

People say there’s no such thing as a free lunch, but we can prove them wrong. Not only can we tell you how to get a free lunch, we will throw in breakfast, dinner and a light snack. If your wallet is as empty as your stomach, you shouldn’t have a problem trying some of these proven tactics, even the more unorthodox ones. The next time you go out for a bite, leave that credit card at home, as you won’t need it. Below, we unveil 14 ways you can eat for free.

1. Grocery Store Samples
   If you do your shopping during peak hours, you have likely seen the free sample displays around the supermarket. Most of the employees who work the samples are quite friendly and generous with their stock, too. After all, this is just a day job for them and they probably couldn’t care less if you buy the food or not. Whole Foods Market is legendary for their constant giveaways and many of their employees are total hippies, meaning they won’t attempt to cut you off if you circle back for a second taste. Another idea is a price club, such as Sam’s and Costco. Their stores are so big, hitting each free sample display will actually fill you up. It is something to think about the next time you drive by one and feel a bit peckish.
2. Triple Coupons
   Don’t think that coupons only reduce the cost of food. If you know how to truly work the system, you can get free groceries during a “coupon event”. Check your local supermarkets to see if they ever triple coupons. Buying an item that is already on sale with a triple coupon can often render the merchandise free. Where do you get the coupons, you ask? Well, you shouldn’t have to pay for them either, so forget about those thick Sunday papers. Coupons can be found in the mail (that “junk mail” you are always tossing), online (print them off at work) or even in someone else’s Sunday paper. No, we aren’t suggesting you steal it off your neighbor’s porch. If you have friends or family that don’t clip coupons, then they will probably hang onto that section of the paper for you upon request.
3. Church
   Okay, some of you may be uncomfortable with the idea of crashing a church function for a free pancake dinner or the like, but they really like feeding their parishioners at times. This doesn’t have to be a completely selfish endeavor, either. You could simply visit your own church when they are offering food or go with a friend. If that still sounds a bit dodgy for a free meal, volunteer at a church event. They will make you earn your free lunch then and you can go home with a clear conscience (and a full stomach).
4. Continental Breakfasts
   Staying at a hotel anytime soon? Don’t be a chump and head for the IHOP when you get that wake-up call. Instead, see if they offer a free continental breakfast. You may have to get there early before all the jelly-filled confectioneries are gone, but it will be worth it. Heck, shove a few muffins in your pockets for later. Even if you aren’t staying at the hotel, the staff probably won’t notice if you walk in off the street and grab a bite. Some may call this stealing, but half of that stuff will be thrown out by noon, so they don’t heavily guard the area.
5. Wedding Receptions
   Did you think that people only crash weddings for potential dates and free booze? Play your cards right and you may score some cake and a quick trip down the buffet line before anyone asks if you are there for the bride or groom. You probably have a suit/dress in the back of your closet that will be appropriate for the occasion. If not, you could always charge an outfit to your cash-back credit card and return it the next day.
6. Barbecues
   Never pass up an invite to a barbecue. Most people buy more food and beverages than they need, which means you will get a free meal and maybe even a to-go plate or two. No barbecue prospects coming up? Suggest one to our buddy that loves grilling out. Usually, all it takes is a “Hey man, you haven’t had a barbecue in a while” to get things going. Men love fire, it’s a scientific fact.
7. Your Parents’ House
   Ah, the age-old practice of going back to your childhood home for free food. Most parents (especially mothers) wish their grown children would visit more. So, make them happy while filling your gullet at the same time. While you are at it, bring some laundry to throw in the wash. That will save you money on your utility bill, as well.
8. “Kids Eat Free”
   Those are three words that frugal parents love to see on a menu. Don’t expect this at a high-end restaurant, but rather buffets. Yes, this is supposed to be a list that explains how you can eat for no charge, but a free meal is a free meal, right? Then again, if you are especially doe-eyed and petite, you may even be able to jump in the buffet line without paying.
9. Attend College Lectures and Meetings
   College students are usually strapped for cash and there are plenty of opportunities on campus for free meals. Often, organizations offer pizza and soda to people who attend their meetings. They know that college kids are hungry and this is an easy way to rope people in. If they want contact information from you at the door, give them a fake number or email address. Or, better yet, join the group and enjoy the free food on a semi-regular basis. If you aren’t a college student, nothing is stopping you from attending guest lectures on campus. There are often free snacks at these events also.
10. Donate Blood
    Need a sugar fix? Donating blood will secure you a generous supply of cookies and juice. If the staff at the blood bank seem to be a bit stingy, tell them you are feeling light-headed. They don’t want you walking out the place and collapsing, so that should keep the cookies coming. In the process of procuring some free food, you will have helped to save a life. That sounds like a great way to spend an afternoon.
11. Work at a Restaurant
    No, we aren’t suggesting that you just get a job and pay for your own food. By working at a restaurant, you will undoubtedly be able to eat for free, all the while making money that could be better spent elsewhere. Waiting tables is actually a great way to make extra cash if you can only fit in a part-time job and working the dinner rush means bigger tips and a free meal every night.
12. Pick Wild Vegetables and Fruits
    Since grazing on someone’s private farm may get you shot, notice that we suggested “wild” vegetables and fruits. However, you may want to learn a bit about food growing in the wild before you try this. After all, strange berries and mushrooms could kill you, just as your mother always said. There are many resources at the library about surviving in the wilderness that will point you in the right direction.
13. Go Fishing
    Provided you know how to prepare the fish when you are done catching them, and you could always learn, this is a healthy way to eat for free. Yes, a fishing license does cost money, but that is a small investment for a lot of free food to follow. For those of you feeling a bit timid about claiming the life of a fish, you can just think of yourself as a conservationist.
14. Say It’s Your Birthday
    This is a great way to get a free drink, dessert or maybe even a meal at select restaurants (Subway has a birthday club, for example). Of course, you don’t have to reserve this for when it really is your birthday. However, many establishments have wised up to this trick and occasionally ask for ID, in which case you may find yourself in an uncomfortable position.

Saving a little money on food and groceries feels great, but why stop at “cheap” when you can get them for nothing? While we can’t promise you a free meal every day, using some of the above tactics can certainly fill you up on occasion when you are running low on cash. Even if you have plenty of cash as well as a platinum card, everyone deserves a freebie now and then.

If you enjoyed this article, please bookmark it at del.icio.us »